Breathe

Posted November 23rd, 2010 by christian

I was praying this morning, confessing a familiar sin, considering how the guilt of repeated failure in a given area leaves me feeling anxious and -well, claustrophobic.   Really?  Are the two related?  I have on occasion dealt with a sudden onslaught of claustrophobia; the last time was when I saw the news online about the rescued mine workers and thought about being trapped underground and then having to get into that tiny basket.  I have been praying for the root of that fear to be revealed and I think I may have run across it today.

Remember that I have been praying to (as a prince of the Kingdom) be raised up and walk above the systems of this world that are controlled by evil?  Those systems include health, finances, emotions, legal realms, and religion.  Well, I was dealing with the guilt associated with failure, and slipped into the part of my prayer where I tell Jesus that I really don’t mean to cheapen his sacrifice on the cross (his shed blood) by my repeated sin, and then it hits me…. that’s total religious garbage.  That mindset is like a Jewish Hedge Law designed to keep weak men from sinning or using grace as an excuse to keep sinning. 

The truth is that what Jesus did on the cross (yes, was for us and our sin, but) is so far above our actions, that there is nothing we can do to cheapen that grace.  It is the rock that our sinful waves break on, that we can eventually climb up on top of to get out of the sea of repetitive waves of sin and guilt.

So, as so many of the world’s systems are inter-working, there have been things woven into religion that actually keep us bound.  Here’s the connector:  Some of us Christian entrepreneurs have had greatness prophesied over us and truly believe that we will break through and become successful…. after we become who we need to become to be successful.   In comes temptation and sin to beat us down, and some have bought into the lie that our blessing is conditional on our ability to overcome sin.  Well in a way, that may be sort of true, as our actions have consequences, but the notion that we cannot ever be successful until we have overcome sin is utterly ridiculous.  It is that very guilt reasoning that makes it so EASY for the enemy to hit us with temptation and watch us mentally, emotionally and spiritually roll back down to the bottom of the hill in defeat, not expecting any blessing, and therefore not achieving it.

I declare that the blood of Jesus is more than adequate and in full effect in my life.  I am no longer a slave to sin or the guilt associated with it.  Life is a long war with many battles.  The Kingdom wins in the end, and losing an occasional battle is inevitable as long as we stay in the fight.  To get demoralized at the loss of a single small battle shows serious lack of faith in the commander, who orders our steps onto every battlefield.

If you’re still looking for a logical link back to claustrophobia, I’m sorry, this is how things of the heart are often revealed and why so few get free.  Looking for the root of the issues requires looking at seemingly unrelated events and issues.  And somehow for me, guilt is the root of this fear that manifests as claustrophobia.

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